The beer-at-the-White-House has already been overanalyzed, but I'm still struck by the way in which this conversation shows some wisdom on Obama's part.
This was, from a public perspective, a no-win for all parties. The sergeant had based part of his cop identity on being diversity-friendly. The professor based his identity on being a Black man who had made it in the intellectual world. The President has framed his whole political career on bringing opposites together. So to assign blame, to say that anyone was "wrong," was beside the point. Guilt, the assigning of right or wrong to particular actions, would get you nowhere to reconciliation.
This was, in short a potential situation of public shaming for everyone involved. And shame, not guilt, is what drives most Americans to this day. As much as we Lutherans still try to act as though everyone operates on a guilt-righteousness axis, the truth is we're much more concerned about honor and shame -- and in a hyper-fast media age, this is more true, not less.
Honor and shame are why people disappear from church when their lives are on the rocks. It's not that they necessarily feel guilty about their divorce or job loss or addiction. They may even believe that God's grace is absolutely available to them. They are not wracked by guilt. They are dealing with shame. It's their identity that is at risk.
So how do you bring people together who all stand to see a situation as publicly shaming? You sidestep the entire question of guilt. (For the record, I cannot get around that Gates was being arrested for BEING IN HIS OWN HOME, but that's not my point here. .. ).
How do you restore honor? You sidestep the question of who was right or wrong. Instead you honor them-- you invite them to the White House. You have a conversation, assuming that all parties are honorable -- and by conferring the honor, you prove they are.